Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Among the many wars and strifes we have in the world today, a common argument arises; Who receives the front seat of a car ride? There are many different rules and regulations, that varies from person to person. However I would like to suggest a set of rules that everybody should follow, so that everybody can stop the arguing!

1. One MUST say the word shotgun in order to claim the ownership of the shotgun. The shotgun call must be loud enough so that everyone involved in the race to the car can hear it. No word, other than shotgun, will be tolerated. If all these steps are performed then the person gets the shotgun and gets to sit in the front passenger seat.

2. The shotgunner must be in clear sight of the car for the shotgun call to be considered valid. The shotgun can be called regardless of whether the driver is in the sight of the car.

3.In order to decide who gets the shotgun when simultaneous shotgun calls are made, a foot race to the passenger side door determines who will get the shotgun. This race involves all the people who called shotgun at the same time. The first one to get to the door is given the shotgun.

4.Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building, except if you are in a multistory or underground parking lot

5.Once shotgun has been called, the driver has the option of a re-load. The driver yells out "re-load" and this means that all previous call of shotgun are void. The first person to call shotgun again gets the front seat. This is helpful if the driver really does not like the person who first called shotgun. It can also be used when the shotgun call is simultaneous and the driver is unsure of the outcome. Note: a shotgun only has two barrels, so a re-load can only be called once.

6. Because everyone is created equal, men have the same right to front seat of the car as women do!

7. Once the journey has begun, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However, if they feel that the road requires their full attention, it becomes the shotgunner's duty to control the tunes. Nevertheless, putting on a bad song or allowing for silence when the iPod finishes a song, or ANY other variation of this will result in a demotion to the middle back seat.

8.Shotgun overrules every other call. It is more powerful than dibs, baggsies, and any other call.

9.If someone has successfully called shotgun, they have the right to the front seat. They do not have the right to correct the driver on their navigation skills, (take a left here!!) or Driving ability (I would be in third gear if I was driving). If the passenger does this, they are forced to forfeit their position as the shotgun holder.

10. If the shotgunner attempts to open the door just as the driver is unlocking it and it jams the lock half open, making the driver have to unlock it again, the person has to forfeit their possession of the shotgun.

11.The holder of the shotgun assumes the responsibility for all gate openings, drive through ordering and question asking. He/she is, in essence, the copilot and therefore the enforcer of the behavior in the vehicle.

12.If the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend/date of a passenger in the car, this person has the right to the seat of their choice.

13.If one of the potential occupants of the vehicle is convincingly dressed as a pirate, then they are given the shotgun automatically. In the event of more than one pirate being present, a sword fight to the death shall determine who will get the shotgun.

14.If an occupant of the car sees a Volkswagen Beetle they are allowed to punch the closes person while saying slug bug. Since riding shotgun is a benefit, people in the back seat are allowed to punch the shotgunner, but he/she isn't allowed to punch them back.

15.When riding in a 2 or 3 door car, it is the responsibility of the shotgunner to allow rear passengers in an out of the back of the car. This is in no way the driver's job, regardless of the weather conditions.

1 comment:

  1. have you read the book, "shotgun for dummy's?" it's rather grand.